Pregnant After One Night With The Lycan By Kellie Brown
Chapter 61 I Love You
Tanya’s POV:
I silently watch Caspian stride towards me, the smile on his face growing broader with each step. In midst of my confusion, I find Lisa has come up beside me, offering to take Claire home. Something in her gaze tells me that she knows what’s going on. But fails to articulate. Instead, I nod whilst still firmly confused, allowing her to take my daughter back to the house so she can get some sleep.
When Caspian approaches, I can take a closer look at the flowers in his hands. Fresh red roses bunched together in a beautiful bouquet. But as the fireworks continue to sparkle and explode up in the sky, the mood of the atmosphere dawns on me.
“Tanya…” says Caspian, a sweetness encompassing his tone.
“Ever since the day you won the perfume compet*ition, and protected the Blue Moon Tree from a terrible fate. From that moment on, I fell deeply in love with you,” he says as his eyes shimmer with a strange intensity.
“And I want to spend the rest of my life with you,” he graciously hands me the flowers, pressing them into my arms as I remain too stunned to speak.
I guess I should’ve seen this coming. I should have known Caspian had a liking towards me, his overly affectionate compliments, and eagerness to constantly spend time with me, trying to get Claire to call him Daddy…
Yet, I still tried to blind myself to it, tried to believe it was just acts of kindness relative to his character. I grew accustomed to it, failing to see the subtle signs leading up to this.
Problem is. “Caspian, I-”
Before I can express my feelings that don’t mirror his own, I feel a presence come up from behind me. So in tune to his movements I know it’s Marco. But what surprises me is that the Prince slips his hand into mine. He doesn’t pull me away, but something tells me he doesn’t want me near Caspian.
I glance over to Marco, a subtle smile dawning my lips in reaction to his touch that feels warm and nostalgic. It is different to the feel of Caspian’s flowers in my hands, that feel foreign and artificial, overly doused in a layer of love and needy affection that don’t match my aura.
Caspian is someone I deeply care about. But together, it just doesn’t make sense. My love is elsewhere. And even if I’d never have Marco again, I could never see myself moving on from him. And knowing that I am okay with that, says enough of where my feelings lie.
Finally, my audits flicker back to Caspian, who tries to desperately maintain his smile despite Marco’s grip on my fingers. “Caspian. I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel the same way about you.”
It looks like he almost doesn’t hear me initially. But eventually I see his smile begin to drop in slow realization whilst I continue. “I’m forever grateful for how you’ve looked after me, and I dearly cherish our friendship. But that’s the extent of it. I don’t love you in this way.”
I proceed to gently press his flowers back into his frozen arms with an apologetic smile. And while normally, I’d feel bad causing anyone some form of pain, this feels like the right decision. I feel morally obligated to express the truth, no matter how much it hurts Caspian. In the long run, this is better for both him and me.
With Marco leading the way, we turn to head home, leaving Caspian standing surrounded by a crowd of people, all unsure of how to react to my rejection.
Marco and I walk in silence for a little while, basking in the calming nightly atmosphere, before I finally find the courage to ask. “You took hold of my hand when Caspian confessed his love to me. Why?”
Knowing Marco has lost his memories, means there is little reason for him to be bothered about Caspian’s feelings towards me. And yet I could feel that he doesn’t want me to be there. At first, Marco frowns, only shrugging his shoulders, clearly unsure of how to express his thoughts directly. I don’t pressure him, and let him ponder his thoughts as we continue to walk.
Finally, he mildly explains. “I honestly don’t know. I just, I didn’t like the situation. It made me feel really uncomfortable,” I know that this is far more than what Marco was used to expressing about his inner world. Although I appreciate him opening up to me, it instead only casts further confusion as to how deep those lost memories are. I wonder whether they are a lot closer to the surface than I initially believed.
But there is little time for me to respond, as small drops of rain pitter patter onto the gravel road, before escalating. Within seconds the sky is showering down a ma*s*s amount of rain that drenches me entirely. For any other wolf, it would be as easy as shifting into their wolf form where fur copes better with the sogginess of the rain. But I have no wolf. So, I just continue walking in surrender to the rainclouds.
“Come closer.”
It takes me a moment to register Marco’s words, but through the downpour I can see that he’s removed his jacket, lifting it up for me to get beneath to shield me. I don’t think to object, nearing his form I’m inevitably pressed up against him whilst he holds the jacket over my head.
Together we walk home in silence, the air between us filled with the rhythmic patter of the rain that encompasses us. It is at this moment, I understand why I have turned down Caspian. Even if the Alpha of the Blue Moon pack could’ve given me everything I’ll ever need. Safety, a job, a home, his devoted love and attention. To me, it would have never felt real, I would never be able to reciprocate his love, and that is no way to live.
Marco on the other hand could no longer give me any of those things. He knows nothing of our past, nor would ever be a part of my future ever again. And yet, I would remember everything, I know what life he has given me, and all the memories we shared. And that is enough. Enough for me to be at ease knowing I got to experience that and cherish them as moments that changed my life forever.
And even now, despite no longer loving me, every one of his actions feels true. They feel real and honorable. I feel such a connection to Marco that even in the tiniest of moments where he shields me from the rain, feel exponentially touching, reminding me of the night on valentine’s day, where Marco carried me home from the restaurant. It feels true in every way.
And so, I now decide that I’m going to tell him about the memories he’s lost. Even if he hates me after. I can no longer live a lie. He needs to know. I need to tell him.
But the time I’ve come to a decision, we reach my doorstep. I thank Marco, before asking. “Would you by any chance be free tomorrow to meet for a cup of coffee?” Marco nods, agreeing to the meet up, before saying goodnight and heading back to his house.
With a sigh, I step into my home, only to be greeted by my very over excited daughter who has been clearly watching the interaction from the kitchen window. She runs into my arms, giving me warm hug, before stepping away to peer up at me.
“I’m so happy you came back with Marco and not Caspian!” she cheers, leaving me to chuckle.
“Oh, is that so? You know you shouldn’t be listening in on adult conversations sweet pie,” I say comically.
To which Claire responds. “I begged Lisa to tell me mommy. I wanted to know what was going on. I’m just happy you chose Marco!”
I chuckle again. “I didn’t choose anyone baby,” I ruffle her hair as my child giggles.
“If you say so,” she gives me a mischievous grin before skipping along to her room. I go ahead and shower and change into my nightgown so I can tuck my little girl into bed. I fill a glass of water before making my way into her room and sitting down on the edge of her bed, offering the glass to her.
But as she takes a sip, I watch her nose crinkle in clear distaste. “This water tastes weird.”
“Does it now?” I say, before she nods her head firmly. “Well, maybe it’s because you ate all that candy. It must’ve affected your taste buds!”
Claire gapes at me, before we both laugh and giggle while I tickle her stomach. But eventually we settle down. From our long night at the banquet my little girl falls asleep very quickly, and so do I.
The next morning, I awake in my room, it is still a school day, so I call out to Claire as I’m getting dressed. I’m putting on my shirt when I realize she hasn’t responded.
“Claire! It’s time for school, up you get,” she usually wakes up naturally, or would at least hear my voice since she is a light sleeper. But something unnerves me when she still doesn’t respond.
I turn to head into her room. “Claire no more playing around you need-”
I stand frozen as I see she isn’t even awake. I gently shake her thinking maybe she’s just a little tired, but she doesn’t budge.
“Claire? Claire, please wake up,” but no matter what I do, my little girl doesn’t make a sound, and I start to fear the worst.