I will never be yours By Melan pamp
I have been laying down here for the whole night, from time to time there has been someone down with a tray with food on and picked up the old one. I have no appet*ite but have tried to get some food down.
My mind is a mess and I have been crying from time to time down here in the darkness by myself.
He never came down and I didn’t expect him to either, what I did was reckless and unforgivable. I know that!
I have felt a link trying to get to me but I blocked them all out, not only because I didn’t have any energy left to talk to them I need some time alone after all this mess.
Turning my head to look out the small windows in the high ceiling it looks like it’s morning outside and I place my hand on my stomach, I guess it won’t take too long until I’m going to be able and feel a little baby bump.
Will he be with me on this journey or do I have to go through it alone?
Hearing the door open at the top of the stairs I hear two pairs of footsteps walking down the stairs. Turning my head to the side I find Emma and Cannon standing by the cell door and by the sight of it, Emma has cried a lot.
“He didn’t make it!” I state when tears start to run down my cheeks again. A sob leaves Emma’s lips and I turn my head and look up at the ceiling before closing my eyes and just letting my tears fall.
She already knew it before they came down here, this only makes it painfully real how I have failed him and lost my pack members.
“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t do anything!” Emma says and I open my eyes and sit up on the bed.
“I was supposed to be the Alpha and they would have been alive if I had been a better one! Nothing you can say about it will take away the fact my Beta and Gamma went against my orders and now he is dead with the others who went with him on that suicide mission!” I say and look at her when she tries to protest against it.
“It doesn’t matter Emma! What I did was as stupid as their actions. I ordered everyone to stay inside and went alone pregnant with our children, not being able to shift, and had no idea what I would come to face once I stepped out of that portal. I did this Emma!” I say and wipe off my tears while looking at her.
“I don’t think what they did is your fault! I can agree with you it was stupid to go after them alone but you can’t be punished this way! And you are pregnant!” she says and points at the bars.
“The bars won’t hurt me and just because I’m pregnant he keeps me inside here! He can’t trust me and I don’t blame him for it. I’m safe in here and can’t portal away! I wouldn’t be surprised if he keeps me in here during the whole pregnancy” I say to her when she walks closer and grab the bars.
Selena I will go and have a talk with him!” she says and I shake my head at her.
“There is no point! Let him be” I tell her when the door is opened on the top of the stairs again and some guards are walking down and stop beside Cannon.
“You have to leave! Kians orders!” one of the says and Emma turns to look at the
“Where is he?” she says to Cannon when she lets go of the bars and takes a step over to him.
“He is in his office!” I hear Cannon say when he starts to pull her with him.
“I will come back!” Emma says and looks at me when they start to head up the stairs. I sigh and turn my head to look at the other guards when they close the door on the top.
“We have orders to take you upstairs so you can take a shower and change clothes, I suggest you do as he says! Haven’t seen him this angry before!” one of the guards says and they don’t have to worry I won’t be going anywhere from here.
“I will!” I say to them when they open the door to the cell and I start to get out. A shower would feel nice and some clean clothes after all this.
One of them walks ahead of me and the other behind, climbing the stairs we come out in the hallway when they show me up the next stairs. Up here are Kian’s chambers which I know of.
Reaching the top of the stairs we start to walk down the hallway when we walk past his chambers and the door is slightly open. Inside there are several men and cleaning people carrying broken furniture, I instantly feel worse at the sight of it. I never wanted to hurt him this way!
Turning my head from the sight I keep my head down on the floor and keep walking after the other. He stops right in front of a door and opens it, looking inside I see it’s a large guestroom.
“Everything you need is inside and we will be waiting for you outside!” he says when I take a step into the room. Turning my head, I give them a nod before closing the door after me!
Waking further inside I see my clothes laying on the bed and nothing comes from him, I miss him terribly and I know if I could only wear one of his shirts it would calm me a bit. Sighing I start to head over to the bathroom and open the door before walking inside.
Pulling my shirt over my head before I take off my pants and underwear, placing them on the sink before I walk over to the shower and turn the water on. It takes only a few seconds for the warm water to come and I instantly get under it.
Yesterday and the night have drained me of all my energy and right now I walk on autopilot, I do what I’m supposed to but could easily just sleep away the whole day. The warm water feels good on my body when I start to wash my hair and body. slowly, taking my time in the shower before I will be down into the cold cellar again.
When I’m done I let the water run down my body a moment before turning it off and stepping outside, wrapping a towel around me I head over to the mirror and look at my reflection. I’m pale and got red puffy eyes from all this crying, I look like. the wreck I feel I am.
Walking out of the bathroom I find a pair of pants on the bed and a shirt with some underwear prepared for me, drying my body on the towel I start to pull my clothes. on before wrapping the towel around my hair.
I am about to put on my shoes when there is a knock on the door and it is opened, one guard is walking inside the room.
“Are you ready? You have an appointment in a short moment!” he says and looks at me. Stopping in my place I look at him with a frown on my face.
“Where am I going?” I ask him while taking the towel off my hair.
“You have an ultrasound appointment in fifteen minutes!” he says and I can’t move from my place when I see the other guard step inside the room.