I will never be yours By Melan pamp
I have to blink several times before I’m able to come back to my senses when I see him take a step closer to where I am. I hurry and wrap the towel around my body and take a step back.
I hear him walk closer to where I stand when I try to step to the side, there isn’t enough room in the bathroom for me to get away from him and soon I see him stop right in front of me.
Holding the towel tighter around my body when I see him lift his hand to touch my stomach.
Taking a small step back my back hits, the wall and I have nowhere else to go!
“Don’t!” I say to him when he takes a step closer to me. He doesn’t move from his spot and I take my chance to push beside him and walk out of the bathroom in a rush, coming outside to the bedroom I head over to the closet and start to take out a large shirt and some pajama pants with some underwear. Closing the door, I turn around only to halt in my track when he stands right behind me!
As of now, I don’t want him close to me, it’s harder to keep my walls up when he is near me. Seeing him take a step closer I have nowhere to go but back up against the door when he is right in front of me.
Lifting my head, I look at his chest when I see him raise his hand to touch my cheek, I turn my head to the side by instinct and try to get away from his hand
“Don’t touch me!” I say in a low voice, not sure if my voice will hold if I speak up louder. He doesn’t stop and when his palm touches my skin, I have to close my eyes and take a deep breath from how good it feels with his touch. Small tingles play under his palm but they are no way near as strong as before. Pushing down all my feelings I know is best to keep them locked down, I have something good going on, and now is not the time to feel the heartache from missing him.
I can’t have the feeling back when I thought my heart where about to broke into tiny pieces, this is the way for me now and I have to keep focusing on keeping my babies safe!
He turns my head up to look at him and when I open my eyes they fall right on his,
it’s hard with him this close after all these days and nights apart! All my longing I had to push down to keep getting up from the bed and move on with what I had to do.
Seeing him look all over my face while his hand caresses my cheek.
“Why aren’t you sleeping in my chambers!” he says and I have to keep my feelings at bay.
“I won’t stay in that room and yearn after something I can’t have and constantly get reminded every second of it!” I say and see him snap his eyes right to mine.
“What can’t you have!” he says and I hold my eyes on his.
“You!” I say and keep my lips in a tight line when I see his eyes flicker for a moment. He takes a deep breath before his other hand comes up and holds my head in a fast grip before he leans his forehead against mine.
“My love what have I done to you!” he says and I almost burst and break down in a sob when I close my eyes and breath while I push my feelings back. I will not let my walls fall and crumble to dust, I will not get off this path I’m pushing myself forward on.
Pushing him from me I get out under his arm and walk over to the bed before placing my clothes down, holding my towel tight around my body when there is a knock on the door, and head over to open it. Seeing Cannon standing on the other side I open it and hold the door to the side when Cannon takes a step inside..
“Kian your meeting is here and waiting for you downstairs!” I hear him say when Kian walks closer to where I stand.
“They have to wait! I have something more important here to take care of!” he says. and I see Cannon give him a nod before he turns around and walk out of the room. I feel Kian’s intense gaze on me the whole time and try to avoid looking at him for the longest moment but when he doesn’t do anything I have to raise my eyes to meet his.
He stands there and looks at me for a bit before he closes the distance between us and pulls me close to him, I almost drop my grip on my towel from the fast movement.
His hand comes under my jaw before he leans down and captures my lips with his, I don’t answer the kiss back and keep my emotions locked up hard.
“I’m sorry love I never intended for this to happen, I have been too busy to notice what I have done to you!” he says and pulls me closer when he presses his warm plump lips hard against mine.
I have missed his touch more than anything, I want to crawl under his skin and stay there but I can’t do this.
Pushing him off me it takes some of my strength to get him away from me and out of his grip.
“You did what was right and what I deserved! Your meeting is waiting for you!” I say and take a step closer to the door and place my hand on the handle.
He stands right in front of me in his place for a long moment before he walks closer and hooks a finger under my jaw before he tilts my head up to look at him.
“I was angry and came at you too hard! I’m sorry for doing this to you, but this is not the end of this discussion! I will be back!” he says and pecks my lips before he turns around and walks out of the room.
I stand there for a moment and try to get my feet to move from my spot, I want him back!
My body needs his touch just like it needs the air that I breathe, but I don’t dare to let my walls down, this is the only way I know how to keep my children safe until the threat is gone!