Read The Half Blood Luna by The Black Daisy
“Is there something else we need to talk about? I need to go punch the sh*t out of something” I said in irritation to Joseph after Ella left us alone in his office.
My blood was still boiling from everything Ella said to me before Joseph entered the office. For someone who is scared sh*tless at the sight of me, she sure had a hell of a lot of nerves to speak that boldly to me without fearing the consequences. While I saw the fear in her eyes when I pinned her against the wall, the anger in them was far greater.
I would never let anyone speak to me the way she just spoke to me without punishing them severely. No one even dares to speak to me in that way. Hell, I wanted to punish her so badly but barely held myself. Reminding myself that she has been through hell. Also, most of what she said was completely true and I deserved most of it. But for her to say I was worse than that bastard Grey tipped me off the edge. I wanted to show her just how different I was from Grey and warn her to behave herself in my presence or I will not be held responsible for what happens next time. While Grey punished her every day for no valid reason other than being a sad*stic a*s*shole, I would never punish someone without a proper cause. And their punishment would never include r@pe or severe torturing.
“Do you mind telling me why the hell I entered my office and found you pinning Ella against the wall?” asked Joseph angrily.
“Pinning her against the wall was the least that could have happened to her, trust me” I said harshly.
“What exactly does that mean? What did she say to you that got you so mad at her?” asked Joseph curiously.
I gritted my teeth in frustration. I needed to let out my frustration right now or something bad was going to happen to Joseph’s office.
“We’ll talk about this later, I need to go let off some steam” I said as I headed out the door.
I went to training room number one and locked the door behind me. I didn’t want to be interrupted by anyone. I wanted to punch and rip everything in my line of sight. That’s how much she got me worked up.
I started hitting and kicking the punching bag while going through our conversation in my mind.
I had just turned my head to look at her for the first time, and saw what she was wearing. Something instantly felt tight within me at the sight of her. Something that has felt nothing for the past months. The work out outfit she was wearing showed off how beautiful her body was. While her body shape was always covered by loose clothes, this outfit showed everything that was hidden before. I found my eyes roaming over every inch of her body. Unable to stop looking, I f0rced my eyes to focus on her face. Damn it Klaus you are creeping her out! Stop gawking at her like a pervert.
I tried to distract myself from looking at her body by asking her the question that has been on my mind for a while.
I expected her to say that she would have never told me anything about her father if I didn’t pay attention to her weird behavior, but she surprised me by saying that she would have told me after she gathered her courage. While she would have tried to protect herself by hiding the truth, she wouldn’t let someone else take the blame wrongfully. It gave me more insight onto her character.
“Can I ask you a question in return?” I was surprised when she asked me that.
“Sure” I said in amusem*nt.
“If I never tried to run away from the pack that night, if you never saw me in the forest, never punished me or even met me at all. If I never realized that you were seeking revenge on my father. Would you still have treated me the same way after uncovering the truth?”
Her question had brought a lump to my throat. She was still affected by how badly I treated her at the beginning.
“The way I treated you was wrong from the beginning, public punishment included. I wasn’t acting like myself, if I could take it all back, trust me, I would do it in a heartbeat” I said sincerely.
I frowned when I found her smiling bitterly at me and rolling her eyes “You don’t believe me?”
“Not in the slightest” she said defiantly.
“Why is it so hard for you to believe that I regretted what I did?” I asked harshly.
“When exactly did you start to feel that regret? I’ll tell you when, it was after you found out I was abused, not a moment before. That is not regret, alpha, that is just pity”
That was true, not the pity part, but the timing of my regret began when I saw the horrible marks on her back and found out about her abuse in the operating room. It woke me up and made me realize that I was acting like an a*s*shole towards her. But that was not pity, I never pitied her. I always thought she was so brave and strong for handling what happened to her. I felt sympathy for her but never pity. The two were completely different.
“If you never found out about my abuse or if I was never abused in the first place, it wouldn’t have changed your mind then, because pity was the only reason that made you stop. If I wasn’t abused then by alpha Grey, I would be abused now by you”
That was also true, from her point of view. Wasn’t I heading to her room to hurt her myself before I found her half dead that night? Whether I would have actually done it or not, I’d like to believe not. Punishing her with twenty lashes only had made my heart hurt deeply. I would have never been able to hurt her like that again. I was blinded by rage back then, I was sure that after I calmed down I would have apologized to her for my behavior regardless of her abuse. She would have never been abused by me.
“Even after you swore up and down that you wouldn’t hurt me or punish me because you are regretful, didn’t you volunteer yourself to train me? Joseph told me that it gets brutal, that I will be bruised all the time from training. You just couldn’t miss that chance, could you? But even though I said no, it doesn’t really matter, you can still hurt me in other ways. I already know how much damage you can do with a whip. As for the r@pe…”
I lost control of myself after she said that last part, as I cut her off and pushed her roughly against the wall, I heard her gasp. A deep growl escaped from me as I smacked my hands so hard against the wall trapping her, and I saw her flinch in fear. She thought I was going to hit her instead of the wall.
“Don’t you dare say this to me again or think about completing that sentence, I am nothing like that bastard Grey” I said to her slowly and coldly barely containing the rage boiling inside me.
“Pain and agony will be the only thing you feel from now on, I promise you. You will be the one paying for your father’s betrayal” she spat my own words back at me “What exactly did you mean when you said those things to me, I’m curious. How else were you going to make me pay? You’re right, you’re nothing like him, you are much worse. He did all these horrible things to me, but never alpha-commanded me, not once”
I closed my eyes in pain and shame. I brought those words upon myself. She was right about everything. The threat I made to her, the alpha commands. It was all my own doing. But what she doesn’t want to understand was that I am nothing like this, it was my rage taking over my body and saying those awful things to her, I didn’t mean a damn thing. I would have never been able to do anything bad to her despite my empty promise to make her pay. I would have never laid a hand on her, even if she was never abused before.
There was nothing I could say that will make her believe me now. She truly thinks I am a bad person. That pity for what she has been through was the only thing stopping me from hurting her. She even thought I wanted to hurt her through training.
I opened my eyes and looked at her. I wanted to say “Ella I am nothing like this, I swear. I would have never been able to punish you or hurt you, it was just my anger talking. Forgive me for everything I put you through, for everything I made you feel” but before I could open my mouth, I was interrupted by Joseph entering his office.
By the time my frustration at myself and at Ella was out of my system, my knuckles were bleeding from how hard I was punching the bag.
I wanted to prove to her that I wasn’t the bad guy that she thinks I am. I wanted to apologize to her, only because she really deserved a hell of an apology from me. If it was somebody else, I would have never bothered myself with an apology. But she deserved one.
‘I already know how much damage you can do with a whip’
That sentence was the most hurtful thing she said to me. It would have actually hurt less if she stabbed me with a silver knife to the heart. I will never be able to forgive myself for that punishment, how the hell do I expect her to forgive me for it?
I get out of the training room dripping in sweat, and my knuckles bleeding pretty badly. As soon as I step out of the room, I instantly hear Ella’s voice from inside one of the training rooms. Her voice was shaking in fear “Don’t come any closer, stay away from me”
She opened the door and fled, as soon as she saw me, she started running towards me, then did something I never expected her to do. She hid behind me. She was clutching my top from the back tightly, shaking from head to toe with tears streaming down her face.