Read The Half Blood Luna by The Black Daisy
I started my day with an intense training session. I needed to pour out every ounce of frustration bottled up inside me.
It’s been two weeks since I agreed to find a wife. Two weeks since my life just became a little more unbearable than it already was. I was a mess. I drank myself to sleep every night, because if I didn’t, I would stay up all night drowning in my misery.
I haven’t found a woman willing to ruin her life for me yet. I haven’t even looked. Joseph and Sara suggested that they look for someone on my behalf, but I turned them down strictly. No one else needs to suffer. I know they were heartbroken for me, but they were also missing their daughter so hard. They were just better at dealing with their grief than me.
I hit the shower after I am done, put on casual clothes consisting of skinny dark jeans, and a black t shirt, and head out of my quarters. There was still about three hours till the ceremony started.
I didn’t feel like celebrating anything, but it was a big pack tradition.
I was about to go into my office and lock myself inside, when Joseph appeared out of his office, which was next to mine.
“Morning, can I talk to you?” he asked carefully.
He and Sara have been so supportive lately. Trying to do anything they can to help me accept my decision.
I nodded my head and left my office door open for him.
He came inside and closed the door behind him.
“So, everything is set for the ceremony this afternoon. You have nothing to worry about. Well, except choosing someone to dance with you for the opening. But other than that, it’s all good”
I gr0@n in frustration. I have to open the ceremony by performing the pack’s special dance with my mate. My heart ached a little. I have to choose another woman today and dance with her.
He sensed my uneasiness as he said lightly, desperately trying to brighten my mood at least for today “It’s just a dance Klaus. It doesn’t have to mean anything. Besides I think you’ll have plenty of women asking you to dance with them, so you will just have to pick one at random”
I nodded my head in defeat. It doesn’t have to mean anything, I repeated to myself.
“Something else on your mind Joseph?” I asked him as I sensed his hesitation.
“I know you have your plate full. But I was thinking that maybe you could stop by Ella’s room and tell her that you don’t mind if she attends the ceremony. She doesn’t want to attend because of your agreement to stay away from each other, but Sara is so sad that she’s not attending. She really wants her to enjoy it”
At the mention of Ella’s name, I felt my heart tighten in guilt. The last time I saw her popped into my head. I was so rude to her. She caught me at my worst time, and I lashed out on her. Her hurt face haunted me that day.
Her father has destroyed my life, shattered it into a million pieces, and I haven’t been able to pick up any of the pieces yet. Seeing her in front of me, her concern for me, made me want to snap at her. What’s even worse, at that moment I wanted to f0rce her to marry me and carry my child. It was her father’s fault, I wanted to make her pay for his mistakes. I wanted to ruin her life, like her father ruined mine. I had to practically bite down my tongue so I don’t make that horrible mistake. Which was saying a lot about how my self-control has improved after I lost it at her old pack.
She didn’t deserve to be stuck with me for the rest of her life, doesn’t deserve to be stuck with a man she hates and is scared of all the time. She doesn’t deserve to be f0rced into a s*e*xual relationship, when she has been f0rced so many times in her past. She was only starting to heal, only beginning to enjoy her freedom. I was a monster if I took that from her.
I felt so guilty that day for the way I snapped at her. I wanted to apologize but knew that she would never forgive me this time. Not without an explanation to my hostility. I didn’t want to burden her with my problem, because somehow, I was sure that she was going to feel horrible and ashamed of herself because of her father. So, I kept my distance, I stayed away from her. I never told Joseph about what happened between us that day, and neither did she apparently.
Somehow, it did not surprise me that she decided not to attend the ceremony. She definitely wants nothing to do with me now. The apology we shared in that corridor, whatever progress we made that day, was vanished by my harshness towards her.
I decided that I owed her this. The opportunity to experience a ceremony for the first time, meet a lot of people, and enjoy herself.
“Fine. I will stop by her room after a while” I said to Joseph in a calm tone.
“Great. Thank you, Klaus,” he said in relief and left me alone after that.
I busy myself with a few things, then decide there is no point in stalling. I had to remind myself to be gentle with her this time. If I appear too strict, or we end up throwing words at each other again, there will never be a next time. The damage will be irreparable.
I hear the loud music before I reach her door. What is she doing in there?
I knock loudly, hoping she would hear my knocks over the loud music. Her guardian Linda opens the door after a few seconds. She looks so startled by me.
“Alpha Klaus…. Come in,” she says nervously.
I walk inside and stare in shock. Ella was dancing intimately with Jake, her tutor. He was touching her body, spinning her, lifting her, and holding her hands to his body. I felt my chest tighten at the sight in front of me. I don’t know why the hell it bothered me so much to see her this close to him, but it definitely did.
They were so involved in the dance, they did not acknowledge my presence. After a minute, they ended the dance with their faces so close, they could almost k!ss.
They shouted cheerfully and high-fived with laughter. Ella turned around and stopped in shock as she finally realized who was standing in front of her.
Her face was flushed red and there was genuine happiness radiating from her. But that was all gone the second she laid eyes on me.
Her expression changed entirely. Her smile dropped, and her stance became a little rigid.
I couldn’t keep the sharp edge from my face nor my voice. Their closeness really bothered me, and the fact that it was bothering me, bothered me even more. There was only one explanation for it. I was jealous. And it was the most ridiculous feeling, because I had no f*uc*king right to be jealous. She wasn’t mine to be jealous. She was nothing to me. And yet, I was jealous of him touching her like that. I was jealous that she did not flinch away from him like she would any other man, like me. She was okay with him touching her.
“Can I talk to you privately, please?”
My eyes were focused on her, but I felt Jake and Linda moving towards the door. A few seconds later, we were left alone.