He’s My Alpha by Cassandra M (Jake & Clair)
Chapter 39
Jake
I shifted and ran away from her. Confused by the emotions that she stirred in me.
I hate the fact that I wanted her out of my life but hated myself more for hurting and pushing her away.
I’ve been an Alpha for 10 years, and nothing or no one made me feel alive the way she does. But being together won’t guarantee that I would remain sane for the rest of my rule. She was already starting to break me down.
She’s making me weak. And I shouldn’t let her do that.
I shifted back to my human form and walked inside the packhouse n*ake*d, towards my office. It doesn’t bother me that some warriors were around as well as helpers. n*ake*dness was something I was comfortable with.
I went inside and slammed the door closed, my Beta already waiting with my shorts, threw them at me as soon as I entered.
“Looks like it didn’t end well.” He asked, frowning. “You disturb us.” I scowled at him.
“You asked me to remind you.” He shook his head, a smug grin on his face.
He waited for me to take my seat before he continued.
“We can just cancel all those lunch schedules you have. We’re wasting time. Clair is here and I know you want her to be your Luna.”
“No. Proceed with the schedules.” I leaned my back into my chair, letting out a deep sigh.
“What the f*uc*k, man. I can just tell them you decided on someone already. I can handle it”
“I haven’t. I don’t have a Luna yet.” I shifted from my seat and took the shirt folded on my desk, putting it on.
“What? Come on, Jacob! You f*uc*king want that woman when she left, I saw how you and your wolf suffered and now she’s here, you don’t want her anymore? What are you playing at?” He stood in front of my desk, annoyance written on his face.
I closed my eyes, placing my hand in my temple as I leaned my back in my chair, collapsing my whole body on it.
“Don’t tell me she’s your mate?” His eyes widen when the realization hit him. “No no no! Shit man! ” He slammed his fist on the table, enough to jump me out of my thoughts.
“Is she?” He asked, his eyes fixed on me.
I nodded.
“F*uc*k this!” He turned around and combed his hair to tug it. I have no idea it would affect him like this. “F*uc*ked up, right?” I asked in a low voice.
“No. This only meant you’re meant to be together. You both like each other even before, so just man up and claim her. And to hell with that No-Mate- Rule your forefathers came up with.” He turned to face me with a challenging look.
“It’s not that easy.” I shook my head, resting my head on my desk.
“You’re the one making it hard!”
“Look at me, Gavin! Do you think I wanted this? Do you think I’m enjoying this? I can’t have the only thing I wanted.”
“You just need to mark her and she’s f*uc*king yours! ” He said in desperation.
“And then what? When something happened to her, or when she wants me to do something for her, what? I’ll lose myself, my pack, my life? I don’t have a f*uc*king heir!”
“You’re thinking ahead man!”
“That’s what an Alpha does! You think ahead, with your mind, not with your d**k! Two years man! Two years and then she’s gone or I’m gone!” I put my head in my palms not wanting to think anymore.
“You should give yourself and her more credit than that!” He sighed and sat on the chair in front of my desk. “Look man, if you need more time then take more time. But let’s discard these other females here. This pack has only one Luna, and my loyalty lies with her.”
“Gavin…” I don’t know what to say anymore.
“If it makes easier for you if something happened to you without an heir. 1111 take over the pack. 1111 be good at it. The pack will love me. That helps?” He tried to joke around it, but I appreciate him. Not that I ever tell him or I would tell him. “You’re crazy.” I chuckled.
“I know. But more than your Beta, I’ve been your friend. You’ve done so much for this pack, you deserve to have someone you really wanted. I’m not going to stand here and let you mark someone who meant nothing to you because of something you believe will happen. She was fated with you because she’s meant to be with you.”
Silence. I didn’t know what to say.
My Beta sighed and added. “I will make sure that if the time comes that you need someone to pull you back on track when you lose yourself, I’ll be there, man. I’ll put senses back to you.” He a*s*sured me, lips pursed as he wait for my response.
“I still don’t know.” I rubbed my palms over my chest, irritated at myself.
“Enough of that for now. I can’t cancel this lunch you have with Sabine, fix yourself and meet her. The rest, I’ll take care of it.” He stood up and placed his hands on his pants pocket.
I nodded and rose from my chair, walking towards the door.
As I grabbed the door know, I turned my head back to where my Beta was. “No one should know about my mate.”
He simply nodded.
I nodded back. “Thanks, man! Hold the fort down while I’m out of the territory.”