Fated To the Alpha by Jessica Hall
Chapter 223
I hadn’t even got in the car when I felt my phone vibrate in my back pocket. Pulling it out, the screen read Kyan. He had sent a text message, and my stomach instantly dropped. My hands shook as I opened the message.
Kyan: Regret is horrible to live with, and you will regret what you have done.
“You ok?” my father asks, and I pocket the phone swallowing down the bile that rose up the back of my throat, and I nodded to my father, who was watching me above the roof of his car.
“Yeah, fine,” I tell him before opening the car door and slipping into the passenger seat. My father hops in and starts the car before backing out of his parking space. He then pulled onto the main road.
“Something is wrong. Who was the text message from, Kyan?” My observant father asks. He was the hardest to pretend everything was peachy, nothing escaped him, and that’s why most uncomfortable talks usually came from him.
I could get away with hiding away because he was hardly home, but when he was, he constantly questioned, always watched, so I had to put on the best act.
“It was Kyan, wasn’t it,” my father states, and I look out the window watching the City p@ssby as we drive toward the City borders.
“Yeah, it was Kyan, ” I murmur before retrieving my phone and looking down at the phone. I hadn’t replied, and even if I did, exactly what would I say. It doesn’t change anything, I can’t take it back, and I didn’t want to.
” It’s painful; it would have caused him pain, Jonah should have known better, but I have a sneaky suspicion Jonah wanted him to know,” my father says while navigating the streets, and I look over at him.
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“Jonah has been in love with you since he was a kid, I also know finding out your best friend is mated to the woman you love wouldn’t have been easy for him, especially knowing it was Kyan. I think he wanted Kyan to know your reaction to him, sneaky little sh*t.”
“I still don’t understand, ” I tell him. My father glances at me before he sighs.
“Did you know Kyan was my mate?”
“Your mother loves you, Marabella; she didn’t keep it from you intentionally,”
” So you did know? ” I ask, shaking my head. Was I the only one that didn’t?
“No, well, not for sure anyway, your mother never confirmed it. But you need to understand, sometimes information is key, sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes knowing too much can alter things onto a different path, one that is worse because you think you know when really you don’t, “
“You and mum always speak in riddles, ” I mutter and roll my eyes. Why not just come out and say it?
“Your mother knew when you were a baby, she couldn’t say anything because it could alter fate, change things, and not always for the best. You need to trust that whatever she does or doesn’t do is in your best interest. Sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.”
“If mum knew, why does she always try to push me toward Jonah, ” My father shrugs and seems to think for a second before answering.
“Because sometimes things should be altered, I have no idea whatever your mother saw, but she isn’t very subtle when it comes to you and Jonah, “
“So your not even sure why she told you nothing?” I ask, slightly shocked, I thought my parents had no secrets, yet she kept secrets from them too.
“Whatever she saw, Jonah must have been the better option, or at least needed to be a part of the options, I’m not sure. Your mother has to be careful with what she says to even me; if I give you the wrong information, it could alter everything, she creates bonds, but she never takes choice.”
“But I have a mate ; if mum didn’t bond me to Kyan, then who did?”
“Kyan did, that’s all she told me, I asked her the same thing, thinking it was her doing, but she told me she tried to pair you with Jonah, that Seline the old Moon Goddess also tried, yet you and Kyan kept seeking each other out, drawn towards each other like magnets; after a while you both fused together, she couldn’t separate you, but she told me she tried, “
” So I am doomed to be with Kyan. It would be so much easier if we could just pick our own mates, “
“Why can’t you? If Kyan agrees, why can’t you be with Jonah?”
“Because he is not my mate, and what would happen to Kyan?” I ask him with a sigh.
“You know dad wasn’t my mate, right? Well, he is but also wasn’t. It is complicated, ” my father says, and my head snapped to the side to look at him.
“But we have his DNA too,” my father nods his head and shrugs.
“You can’t say that then not tell me. Does Eziah?”
“No, it makes no difference. We are all mates, and we didn’t feel the need to tell you, kids.”
“So what? Mum picked dad, and you just decided to mark him?” I ask.
“Not exactly; your father was a chosen bond, I never understood either but in a sense, I do now, you know of the curse,” I nod. Yes, I was well aware of the curse that was placed on our bloodline, the one that turned me into this freak.
“Well, for the curse to be broken, your mother had to become a Gemini wolf,” I nod, knowing that part.
“Well, for to become a Gemini wolf, she had to have dark and light mates. Every curse has a loophole, “
“So, dad, was the loophole?”
“No, dad was Bis*e*xual. He always had two mates. The first one he K*lled to save your mother, he chose her over his own mate, but your father was originally
bonded to me, just I couldn’t feel it, he knew for years and kept it from me.”
“But how didn’t you feel it?”
“Because I was straight for one, and because your mother was my fated mate, she was already destined to be with me, Mateo being Bis*e*xual, could choose, his female mate or male mate, he chose your mother K*lling his mate , and it somehow forged the bond with your mother, he already had feelings for your mother, at first he was jealous of her, but once he met her he forged a bond with her, and in turn, I was able to feel the bond through your mother, which was not easy since I was straight and suddenly turning bis*e*xual but only for your father, other men I feel no attraction for, helps that we were best friends, “
” So you just accepted it?” My father shakes his head.
“No , I tried to keep them separated. Maddox hated the idea, he was too possessive, but Seline told us she threw us a bone. It turns out your mother’s entire bloodline had two mates.
The fated mates never accepted each other, so Seline decided to dabble with the fates, twist it if you will because she liked your mother , she didn’t want the curse to K*ll her too, so instead of making two strangers accept each other, she made us best friends, and instead of bonding two people to your mother, she bonded your father to me and me to him when I found my mate, I just couldn’t recognize him until she
accepted him but Mateo was supposed to be bonded to us both, but if I couldn’t accept or Maddox history would have repeat itself , and you would be the one trying to break that curse, and your mother would be dead,”
“So what about dad’s first, mate?”
“She was never intended for him, she was just a detour, Seline told us, a way for Mateo to prove his love for your mother; basically Seline sacrificed her, which sounds horrible, but if you ever go to the Moon Goddess realm, you will understand, your mother was supposed to be his other mate just like me, though if history was anything to go off, it would have gone tragically wrong, and I would have K*lled your father and in turn condemned your mother, “
“So I don’t get it. Who was the chosen mate?”
“Your father, and your mother, I had to choose him, and he had to choose her,”
“Huh, but Kyan and Jonah are different, though. Neither of them is bis*e*xual,” I tell him.
“But they are friends, that could be enough, you’re not cursed, so they don’t have to be mates; they just need to accept that they can share. Damn, that sounds so weird to say,” my father says, and I chuckle.
“Why is that weird? You have two mates,” I laugh.
“Probably because you are my daughter, I don’t like the idea of you being with any man, let alone two; that’s just two ssh*les I have to f*uc*k up if they break your heart,” I chuckle and shake my head.
“Mum said chosen bonds are stronger. Do you believe that?” I ask him.
“In a sense, they are basically the same; I love your mother and father exactly the same, and the bond is exactly the same, it’s just I don’t know even, not like loving one more but loving them for different reasons, seeing them differently yet the same, without the other, they wouldn’t be whole in a sense,
“So the whole light and dark, and I am guessing you are the dark, “
“No, whatever gave you that idea?” my father laughs. I raise an eyebrow at him.
“Yes, your father was the good easy-going one, while I ann, let’s say, what is that term, “
“Complicated, which exactly explains yours and mum’s and dad’s relationship. It’s complicated, ” I chuckle.
“Hmm, I wonder if I should make that f**k official, change it to its complicated,”
“Not if you value your life, pretty sure mum may take that the wrong way, “
” Oh, she definitely would, I could already imagine the s*e*x silence she would put me in,”
“Ew, not a picture I wanted, “
“Then don’t ever watch our home videos; they will definitely leave a bad image in your head, ” my father laughs at the look on my face.
“No, there are no videos. Your mother made me delete it, but don’t tell her I backed it up on the cloud and kept a copy, but since you know now, do me a favor and delete the video called birthday suit. It
isn’t a streaking video; just delete and don’t tell your mother,” I blink at him, unsure if he is being serious.
“Oh and the one, called dad’s birthday surprise part two, just delete that one as well, “
“Are you being serious?” I ask him.
“Yes, but don’t tell your mother I have them. I told her I deleted them,” He says, and I shake my head.
“What everyone does it, I’m sure it isn’t that odd of a thing to do,”
“What, to film yourselves, what if someone found them, “
“Yeah, that happened already. Your uncle Andrei saw a bit more of your mother than he wanted to, he has never let me live it down, and that is exactly why your mother made me delete them, ” I pull a face at that and shake my head.
“Ok, subject change, I did not need to know that information, “
“But you did, what if I d*ied tomorrow and you stumbled across them, now you know to delete, see saved you from having that image in your head,” He laughs.
“Why don’t you delete them,”
“I told you for the s*e*x silence,”
“s*e*x silence?”
“Yep, that’s how your mother likes to punish me, kind of like the silent treatment, but your mother has never been good at being quiet. She is a vocal woman. The woman can gasbag like talking is going out of fashion. She needs to get the last word in, so she found another way to be silent with s*e*x deprivation,” he says while he glares out the windshield.
Clearly not liking mum’s punishment, making me wonder if he was currently being punished before I shudder grossed out at the idea of my parents.
“Mum, punish you?” I ask incredulously.
“Ah yeah, she is the one with the v@gin@ and also a Moon Goddess,”
“You could always get it off, dad,” I tell him.
“No, because she commands him not to give me any,” he huffs, and I could see that really bothered him. I laugh, shaking my head.
“Well, thanks for the overshare, dad,” I chuckle.
“Just doing my fatherly job of making sh*t awkward or embarra*s*sing,” he laughs.
“Pretty sure that isn’t in the job description, “
“No, making you feel better is, though. I know I am not around much, but you can tell me anything, Marabella. Just because you are grown up now doesn’t suddenly make me not your dad, even if it is boy troubles you want to talk about, I will listen, even to the awkward stuff, then beat those f*uc*kers down if needed,” he says.
“You don’t need to beat anyone,” I tell him.
“You sure, I can still turn around. We aren’t that far out of the City,” I smile, knowing he would turn around if I asked him to.
“So what did Kyan say?”
“Something about me regretting it,” My father’s
eyes turn pitch black, and his knuckles turn white on the steering wheel.
“Dad?”
“Hmm, yep, you sure you don’t want me to turn around,”
“Positive, but I think I made him hate me even more,” I sigh.
“He is your mate, he can’t hate you even if he wanted to, but it would have hurt physically hurt him,”
“How so?” My father drums his fingers on the steering wheel for a second before sighing.
“Well, kind of like being kicked in the guts and wherever you touch him or he can feel, kind of like razors under your skin, it’s hard to explain, but it isn’t a nice feeling, that I can a*s*sure you,”
“Wait, so mum or dad cheated?”
“What, no, no. Of course not, but your father, since I was his mate, felt it when I first got with your mother and for years before I met her. I felt terrible when he eventually told us, he didn’t tell us until years later, and I also felt it before I marked him too. It used to make me angry or jealous; it was odd.
They are both my mates obviously and the same for them, but before we were all bonded, your father and I felt it because of each other.”
”So when did you choose dad? What made you and Maddox change your mind?” I ask curiously.
His brows pinch together, and honestly, this was the most my father had ever talked, we talked of course but usually about schoo1 or grades or the stuff mum and dad didn’t like talking about, never really just talking, not that we didn’t, just never really alone to speak.
“At first, I thought it was because of the bond to your mother’s, but officially, I believe it was when your mother went into heat.
Maddox wanted to K*ll him, but I trusted your father and even told him it wouldn’t be his fault if anything happened. In a sense, I think I always accepted it, subconsciously anyway. Maddox, however, didn’t care your mother was his and his only until she went into heat,”
“But all she-wolves go into heat; he was her mate,” I shrug.
“Yes, but we didn’t know about the bond then. Maddox changed his mind when he realized your father not only loved her enough to K*ll his other mate for her but because he was able to resist mating her, not only for her but for us, he loved us both enough to not touch her despite being heat crazed and wanting to.
Your mother tried when she reached the second faze.” That was one thing that now worried me; if Kyan didn’t want me, what would happen when I eventually went into heat?
“You’re not male, so you don’t understand how bad being heat crazed is; your wolf can’t even identify family once locked onto a scent. However, his love for her and me overrode the insanity of mating her; it’s the same for the she-wolf mate. We become crazed with the urge to protect and mate.
When he walked in and found them, I expected a bloodbath. Instead, he realized how much your father loved us; even if your father couldn‘t have her, he would stand by and protect us even when it hurt him to do so,”
I nod, thinking of my father’s wolf, he was apparently brutal, but he was a protector, and I have never been on the wrong side of my father’s wolf, so I had trouble trying to picture it.
Though I feared his wolf from the energy he gave off, you could tell he was lethal. But yet that just made me think of Kyan and his wolf.
The on-edge feeling I got around him was more substantial than my father’s, which made no sense. Maybe I just feared my Kyan’s wolf more because I hadn’t met his wolf yet.
“Have you met Kyan’s wolf?” I ask him.
“No, actually, I haven’t. I don’t think anyone has. The Octavian bloodline is a bit odd, though. Not in a bad way, but?”
“But like they are hiding something?” I answer for him.
“Yeah, Kyan’s father was the same, yet I had met his wolf before. Kyan’s, however, I haven’t. Hmm, I never even noticed that before, usually; you eventually see everyone’s wolf side once been around them long enough,” “So you knew Kyan’s dad well?”
“Yes, he was the Alpha of Alphas like Kyan is now,” “What was he like?”
“Like Kyan in a lot of ways, he looks identical to his father. They even had the same tattoos. But I can say one thing about him,”
“What’s that?”
“That he was a better man than I originally gave him credit for, I owe that man a debt, one I could never afford to repay,”
“What do you mean?”
“He saved someone, someone who is irreplaceable, he gave his life for that person even knowing it would cost his own, and that is something I can never repay, “
“So he d*ied for someone else,” my father nods, but it was clear he wouldn’t say any more on the topic when he spoke again.
“I know at the moment you and Kyan are having trouble with the whole being mates thing. But maybe give him a chance, just don’t tell your mother I said that; you know she has a soft spot for Jonah, although if you are going to continue being with Jonah, please don’t do anything until Kyan comes around to the idea, he shouldn’t suffer just because you love Jonah too.”
“Kyan hates me; he already said he doesn’t want me, “Did he reject you?” I shake my head, and Kora whines in my head. She had been listening intently.
Kora didn’t know what to think of the whole Kyan and Jonah situation. However, she agreed with my dad about needing Kyan on board.
“Then he doesn’t hate you, or if he does, he still loves you anyway. Just remember, wolves are mated to the human side, not the werewolf side, so even if Kyan has an issue with you doesn’t mean his wolf will.
I think just like his father, he is perceived in a certain way, one that isn’t in his best interest, sometimes what we see and what is aren’t the same,” my father says.
That feeling I knew all too well, I too was good at hiding things; maybe Kyan and I aren’t so different after all. Kyan’s text message had me worried, and I wondered what he meant and what would happen the next time I saw him.
My mind also drifted to Jonah and how it would affect Jonah and Kyan’s friendship, suddenly realizing how foolish we were. Looking down at my phone, I finally reply and pathetically.
Sorry, all I typed. I had no idea what to say but saying nothing and not acknowledging his message suddenly felt wrong. It was only moments before he replied.
Kyan: Not yet, but you will be.
I stared at his message, trying to figure out what he meant by it, yet I felt nothing from him since I hadn’t marked him or him me.
Kyan: I will see you Saturday since apparently, you will be coming back to the Casino for Rose’s birthday on the weekend.
sh*t, I forgot her birthday was this week, my stomach dropped, and my mood plummetted
further. I promised I would go but would have said no if I knew where it was held. My father looks over at me before looking back at the road.
” Kyan?” I nod to him when another text message comes through.
Kyan: Don’t make up some excuse not to go either. I will come and get you if I have to, and you don’t want that. Kaif is not happy, and neither am I.
Me: Kaif is your wolf right, Jonah mentioned his name.
Kyan: Jonah mentioned many things to you; just remember Marabella, he can only tell you what I allow, nothing more.
Me: Then tell me, Kyan, because if you don’t want me, at least reject me because I won’t just be your doormat.
Kyan: You have been a doormat all your life Marabella, maybe when you see that, you will stop letting people walk all over you.
Me: People like you?
Kyan: The world, yourself. You are scared of yourself. If you are afraid, why wouldn’t everyone else be? You hide behind your brother. Maybe it’s about time you stop hiding.
Me: You’re a hypocrite, you tell me not to hide, but that is exactly what you do. You are the same, always hiding behind the image you built, so what’s behind it, Kyan? Don’t tell me not to hide when you hide better than I do.
Kyan: I hide to protect those around me. You hide to protect yourself from those around you; there is a difference.
Me: You are wrong.
Kyan: No, I am right and you know I am. I will see you Saturday and leave those ridiculous gloves at home. You don’t need them with me around and don’t think I won’t come and get you if you try and bailout.
“That would have to be our longest conversation yet,” Kora says, and I roll my eyes at her.
“What it is, progress. Say it with me,” “You’re delusional. He still hates us,” “At least he is talking to us,” “Talking at us, not to us, AT” “Talking is talking,” Kora shrugs, wandering off. I shake my head, turning back to the window, dreading having to see my mother after our argument and now dreading Rose’s birthday.